Thursday, June 4, 2009

Troll Sat Alone on His Seat of Stone

Good morning everyone!! Here is a hilarious poem by J.R.R. Tolkien. This time I decided to post in directly on the site, rather than connect a link to it. What does everyone like better?
~Tony D

Troll Sat Alone on His Seat of Stone

Troll sat alone on his seat of stone,
And munched and mumbled a bare old bone;
For many a year he had gnawed it near,
For meat was hard to come by.
Done by! Gum by!
In a cave in the hills he dwelt alone,
And meat was hard to come by.

Up came Tom with his big boots on.
Said he to Troll: 'Pray, what is yon?
For it looks like the shin o' my nuncle Tim.
As should be a-lyin' in the graveyard.
Caveyard! Paveyard!
This many a year has Tim been gone,
And I thought he were lyin' in the graveyard.

''My lad,' said Troll, 'this bone I stole.
But what be bones that lie in a hole?
Thy nuncle was dead as a lump o' lead,
Afore I found his shinbone.
Tinbone! Skinbone!
He can spare a share for a poor old troll,
For he don't need his shinbone.

'Said Tom: 'I don't see why the likes o' thee
Without axin' leave should go makin' free
With the shank or the shin o' my father's kin;
So hand the old bone over!
Rover! Trover!
Though dead he be, it belongs to he;
So hand the old bone over!'

'For a couple o' pins,' says Troll, and grins,
'I'll eat thee too, and gnaw thy shins.
A bit o' fresh meat will go down sweet!
I'll try my teeth on thee now.
Hee now! See now!
I'm tired o' gnawing old bones and skins;
I've a mind to dine on thee now.

'But just as he thought his dinner was caught,
He found his hands had hold of naught.
Before he could mind, Tom slipped behind
And gave him the boot to larn him.
Warn him! Darn him!
A bump o' the boot on the seat, Tom thought,
Would be the way to larn him.

But harder than stone is the flesh and bone
Of a troll that sits in the hills alone.
As well set your boot to the mountain's root,
For the seat of a troll don't feel it.
Peel it! Heal it!
Old Troll laughed, when he heard Tom groan,
And he knew his toes could feel it.

Tom's leg is game, since home he came,
And his bootless foot is lasting lame;
But Troll don't care, and he's still there
With the bone he boned from its owner.
Doner! Boner!
Troll's old seat is still the same,
And the bone he boned from its owner!
~ JRR Tolkien


  1. They are both very different, so of course I can't choose a favorite, but there has always been a special place in my heart for this poem. I love it so much!! One of my favorites. It's simply clever and delightful. And I love the old English.
    Tolkien poems are cool. They're different. He had some pretty crazy ideas and wasn't afraid to write them down. What a huge imagination he had!

  2. Oh, wait a minute. When Lord Anthony said, "What do you like better?" I thought he was talking about the poems themselves! Now I realize he was talking about they way to attach the poems. Haha. Sorry about that.

  3. So in answer to your question, Lord A, it doesn't matter to me which way you attach the poems.

  4. Wow, Lady Arwen is talkative today.
    That was a neat poem! I laughed. I cried. Poor Tom doesn't have a leg anymore. But it was funny.

  5. Oh, Lady A. you make me laugh!I do hope people can understand this poem a lot better!

  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

  7. I can understand it a lot better! And i like this set up. I almost missed the button on the other one

  8. Yeah, I wasn't sure if some people would realize to click on the link, so later I went and added the "click here" and arrow sign. Both ways are pretty easy. This just took a few clicks of the mouse, and it looks like I typed the whole thing!

  9. Nope. It's called "copy" and "paste."

    Computers are ingenius.

  10. Yes.... I did like the poem. It was a nice change from books.

    Yes I also agree that computers are marvelous! I like "copy' and "paste" a lot!

    Sir .A.A.

  11. Yes, poems are a good change. If everybody likes poems, I could plug a couple in here and there, in between posts. There wouldn't have to be an actual review about it, and everyone could just read them as I posted them. I don't know. I'll just do what da' boss says.

  12. Poems rock,
    Poems rule,
    I love poems,
    Cause poems are cool!!

  13. How do you think I compare to Tolkien? Hahaha! Don't answer that.

  14. Have any of you heard the J.R.R. Tolkien poem, The Man in the Moon Came Down Too Soon? It's quite amusing. I looked it up, and there are actually quite a lot of poems written by him.
    Google this:
    There is listed all his poems. Some comical, some not. The ones I've read are all wonderful. Check it out!
    ~Lady Arwen

  15. I would but, alas my time here is almost done my good friends.

    Sir .A.A.

  16. I can't remember exactly, but I think I got this poem from poemhunter. It is a really good website for poetry.

  17. Have you heard of Poets Corner? It is a website with poems too. Well I guess that is sort of a no-brainer hence the name.

    Sir .A.A.

  18. Nice new sketches, Tini. I really like the puppy one.......

    Sir .A.A.